The Absolute Worst

To those of you who watch, read, indulge in literally any form of human entertainment or art consumption, understand that unbearably empty feeling that comes after you finish a good piece of.... whatever.

This is a problem that almost, if not every anime fan can relate to, as they run into this feeling so many times after finishing animes, mangas, and movies. I just finished watching Spirited Away, one of my most early encounters with good animation from Japan, and the first time I remember watching it I was maybe 9 or 10. I was watching in the summer during a boys and girls club day and I was absolutely entranced by the movie. The visuals were stunning, the voices were captivating, and the message made no sense to me then, but all I really remember about the movie after 8 or 9 years since then, was two things. That Haku and Chihiro never got to see each other again, and the horrible empty feeling that I think I felt the hardest for the first time.

I remember that so well. I remember wishing that the movie wasn't over, that it'd keep going, that Chihiro and Haku would meet again, that we'd see No Face again and mostly that Chihiro and the feeling the movie gave me wouldn't disappear. Rewatching the movie now, I feel the exact same way. I try to fill in that gap by looking up the meaning behind the movie, or reading fanfiction but it's not the same.

The pure joy, and passion, and emotion you feel coming from a movie or piece of art that flows into you is addictive and its the best kind of addictive. But when you're cut off, it's one of the worst feelings in the world. All you can think about is when it was still playing, when you were still feeling that emotion, that strange and intense attachment you had with this object.

The feeling is the same in short series, or really great anime series. And the worst of all of them, is when the movie has a wonderful sense of closure. It ends, and it ends well with everything tied up, and yet. You still feel it.

I've been thinking a lot about phone games and how annoyingly useless they are. Like Candy Crush. You beat a level to go to the next one, then the next one, then the next one with no end in sight. Sure it's fun for the initial amount of time, but there's no end and you lose that excitement. Not to mention you lose any meaning that you could've ever garnered from playing that game, unlike professional games with story lines and endings. It's mindless, and I hate it after awhile. It's the same with long running anime shows. After watching Naruto for awhile or One Piece all I think is, 'Wow, what's the point? It doesn't end, there isn't any over arcing goal. Just people going from one thing to the next, wandering with no purpose." Now I feel as if I could watch Naruto. Because it's finite. Because I can know that there's an end. But still that long trek in the middle with seemingly unimportant things with no relevance going on kills me every time.

As much as I hate endings, I also crave them to be able to enjoy a series. Any show loses it's charm as time goes on, quality gets lower and the attachment I had to it gets weaker and weaker. I don't want it to be over and leave me, but I don't want to watch it become bad and stray from it's original form either.

In the end, there's nothing we can do about this void feeling from the end of a series, and I suppose it just another part to life. A finite closing, with lingering emotions that remind you of a better time, but still it leaves a imprint of happiness on your heart of what used to be.

(lol, sorry for this sappy stuff, working on a review of last year's amazing season now!)